Are you living your best understanding? When trying to make a decision, my clients often will say to me that they are unsure which option is the right one, so they want to stay still until they are sure. The great psychic, Edgar Cayce, referred to this dilemma in a wonderful way when he said “It is enough for any person to put their life in the hands of the best they know.” The whole point of the journey is to not know, but to move ahead anyway, trusting that the best we know will take us where we need to go.
I believe the reason for the need to move ahead in faith rather than certainty is because the larger lesson is to learn to trust Life. To learn to listen inside for the next step and the next step, trusting that we are being guided to a safe haven. To trust that our Inner Guidance System, our IGS, is in touch with the big picture and the big vision, and is ever guiding us to our highest good.
People ask why, on this journey, we don’t just receive a map and a guarantee and be done with it! Great question! I think the reason we are kept in a state of mystery is because what is really going on is an inner transformation. The process of learning to listen to the whispers inside actually creates a change at the level of DNA. It is part of what is transforming us from caterpillars into butterflies. If we were given a map and a guarantee, we would be working only with our heads.
Listening to inner whispers means we are listening to our hearts, where a great transformation is taking place. We are literally being changed, and it is trust and courage to move forward in the face of fear which causes that process to take place. It is not the destination that we are truly after, not the outcome that we truly seek, but rather the internal change that happens in the process. It is alchemy at the deepest level that is taking place inside of us, an alchemy which results in joy and a whole new way of being.
So we must leave behind our worship of the intellect and enter a new land of the mysterious and unknown, and learn to love and revere those elements because they are taking us to a higher level of humanity: the “Possible Human” which human potential pioneer Jean Houston talks about.
It will be as different from what we are today as the butterfly is different from the caterpillar. And the only way to get there is through the door of the unknown. It is my joy to walk through that door with many women today who have embraced the transformative journey. We will have a joyous reunion of butterflies on the other side of the cocoon!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Cooking On All Burners
Human potential pioneer, Jean Houston, often talks about her great friend and mentor, Margaret Mead. She is fond of describing how Margaret used inner imagery to awaken and enhance her creative abilities in all areas of her life, including professionally. She visualized things she loved, admired, appreciated, along with those things that fascinated her.
She let her imagination travel anywhere and everywhere, which woke her mind up and shook loose any numbness or fuzziness. From this happy, awakened place, she would then turn her mind loose on whatever project was at hand, and her awakened mind, now with all neurons firing, would quickly turn out a rich plan, speech, initiative or new chapter for one of her many books. In this way, Margaret was able to be prolific, and much of what she did appeared effortless. She was, as Jean says, “cooking on all burners”.
This is in contrast to many of us who burn the midnight oil in a task oriented and stressful mindset as we struggle to meet a deadline or bring to mind a half formed idea lurking in the background, but refusing to come up fully on the screen of consciousness.
This idea of creating from a place of an inspired mind has an interesting correlation in a health product currently on the market. The product is called “Triticum Aestivum” and is a topical spray used to relieve pain. The odd thing is that it is not sprayed directly on the painful area, but rather is sprayed around the area, where it enhances the circulation and energy of the surrounding area, which then flows into the painful area, relieving the pain.
The idea is that, when we strengthen what is already functioning well, the increased wellness flows into areas which have diminished capacity. While the connection between this and Margaret Mead’s process of enlivening may seem like a stretch, I believe there is an important common connection, which is that pushing, forcing, trying and struggling do not produce great results. Only flow produces great results, and flow comes from the natural order of things, such as a body part or a mind that is firing with all cylinders, as it was designed to do. If we wake up our mind, it will produce enlivened results and a strengthened body will help to heal itself.
You might want to experiment with these ideas the next time you have a daunting job to do. Try waking up your body and your mind first, get them into a delightful state and then see what happens!
She let her imagination travel anywhere and everywhere, which woke her mind up and shook loose any numbness or fuzziness. From this happy, awakened place, she would then turn her mind loose on whatever project was at hand, and her awakened mind, now with all neurons firing, would quickly turn out a rich plan, speech, initiative or new chapter for one of her many books. In this way, Margaret was able to be prolific, and much of what she did appeared effortless. She was, as Jean says, “cooking on all burners”.
This is in contrast to many of us who burn the midnight oil in a task oriented and stressful mindset as we struggle to meet a deadline or bring to mind a half formed idea lurking in the background, but refusing to come up fully on the screen of consciousness.
This idea of creating from a place of an inspired mind has an interesting correlation in a health product currently on the market. The product is called “Triticum Aestivum” and is a topical spray used to relieve pain. The odd thing is that it is not sprayed directly on the painful area, but rather is sprayed around the area, where it enhances the circulation and energy of the surrounding area, which then flows into the painful area, relieving the pain.
The idea is that, when we strengthen what is already functioning well, the increased wellness flows into areas which have diminished capacity. While the connection between this and Margaret Mead’s process of enlivening may seem like a stretch, I believe there is an important common connection, which is that pushing, forcing, trying and struggling do not produce great results. Only flow produces great results, and flow comes from the natural order of things, such as a body part or a mind that is firing with all cylinders, as it was designed to do. If we wake up our mind, it will produce enlivened results and a strengthened body will help to heal itself.
You might want to experiment with these ideas the next time you have a daunting job to do. Try waking up your body and your mind first, get them into a delightful state and then see what happens!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Simple and Powerful
One of the simplest, yet most effective, suggestions I find myself making to my clients is to optimize the first seconds of any encounter. Sociologists tell us that the first moments of a meeting set the tone for the entire interaction, and I have found this to be true without exception.
It's a little bit like setting the dial on a radio. If you turn on the radio and do nothing else, it will default to where it was when you last turned it off. In the case of a meeting with someone, this translates to the feeling between you bearing shades of the last time you parted. This is fine if you were delighted with your last interaction, but not so fine if you weren't. Greeting a person with a warm smile and the expectation that you will receive the best of them will immediately set the tone for a successful encounter.
If you are meeting someone for the first time, it is likely that you will project assumptions and expectations onto them, and they onto you. You can circumvent that by greeting the person with a smile, in an open and friendly manner. That way, you are telling them what to think about you and saving them the trouble of figuring it out for themselves. You are also setting the tone for a friendly interaction.
So often my clients tell me that they take their spouse or partner for granted, greeting them in a hurried or offhand manner then rushing off to do something else. When I ask them what their life would be like without that person, they often tell me they would be devastated. Yet their greetings reflect none of the value they place on that person. Frankly, I am amazed by that!
Alternatively, people tell me that their relationships are immeasurably enhanced by the simple act of greeting their partner in a warm and friendly way, being very present, making eye contact and welcoming that person into the moment. They are often astonished at the difference that one simple action makes to the quality of the relationship.
This is equally true when dealing with personnel at the grocery store or post office. A warm smile and greeting can make a huge difference to the quality of service received and the successful outcome of the transaction. A warm greeting tells that person that they are seen and valued, and that can put a different and happy spin on their whole day, making it much more likely they will serve you well.
I invite you to experiment with this simple change and see what happens!
It's a little bit like setting the dial on a radio. If you turn on the radio and do nothing else, it will default to where it was when you last turned it off. In the case of a meeting with someone, this translates to the feeling between you bearing shades of the last time you parted. This is fine if you were delighted with your last interaction, but not so fine if you weren't. Greeting a person with a warm smile and the expectation that you will receive the best of them will immediately set the tone for a successful encounter.
If you are meeting someone for the first time, it is likely that you will project assumptions and expectations onto them, and they onto you. You can circumvent that by greeting the person with a smile, in an open and friendly manner. That way, you are telling them what to think about you and saving them the trouble of figuring it out for themselves. You are also setting the tone for a friendly interaction.
So often my clients tell me that they take their spouse or partner for granted, greeting them in a hurried or offhand manner then rushing off to do something else. When I ask them what their life would be like without that person, they often tell me they would be devastated. Yet their greetings reflect none of the value they place on that person. Frankly, I am amazed by that!
Alternatively, people tell me that their relationships are immeasurably enhanced by the simple act of greeting their partner in a warm and friendly way, being very present, making eye contact and welcoming that person into the moment. They are often astonished at the difference that one simple action makes to the quality of the relationship.
This is equally true when dealing with personnel at the grocery store or post office. A warm smile and greeting can make a huge difference to the quality of service received and the successful outcome of the transaction. A warm greeting tells that person that they are seen and valued, and that can put a different and happy spin on their whole day, making it much more likely they will serve you well.
I invite you to experiment with this simple change and see what happens!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Taking Steps Toward Wholeness
It has become increasingly clear to me that one of the most important purposes in our lives is to take steps to regain our “wholeness”. By that I mean to get all of our “parts” on board, moving in the same direction and working for us.
Roberta Asagioli, the brilliant originator of the Psychosynthesis model of psychology, made great strides in elucidating the idea that we have many aspects inside of us, rather like an inner community, the members of which are often working against each other, rather than in concert, like a good team.
So what makes a good team? There are many elements of course, but having a strong, competent captain is very important. It is also important that each team member is placed in the position for which they are most well suited and competent. Having a good coach is very helpful, one who holds the vision of the desired outcome and is objective and skilled in the endeavour at hand.
So what does that model look like when applied to our inner landscape? In my experience, it begins with being clear about one’s belief system and then choosing to act on it and incorporate it into daily life. That then becomes like a tuning fork, the resonance of which spreads throughout the rest of the team.
It’s helpful to get clear about what you believe about life, because it will impact everything in your inner experience. A belief system which embraces joy as a foundation will resonate joy to the rest of the inner team. Albert Einstein said that the most important question any person could answer for themselves is “Is the Universe friendly?” The great psychic, Edgar Cayce, answered that question most affirmatively when he said “There is a spirit of helpfulness abroad in the universe.” If you, like Edgar Cayce, agree that the universe is basically friendly, is that belief reflected in your life?
So then the next question is, who is the captain of your team? Who is running your inner show? Many times, we discover that it is some old programming still in the captain's seat. Perhaps it is the critical voice of a mother who never thought you were good enough. Perhaps it is the voice of a teacher who did not understand your learning style. Such voices told us early on that we were not good enough.
Some people spend a whole lifetime trying to overcome a message that had no validity in the first place. So it is very important to get clear about who is the captain of your inner team. The ideal scenario would be that your captain is the part of you that knows you have a purpose in life, and are perfectly capable of supporting its unfoldment in a joyful manner.
Such a captain will then view the other members of the inner team in a positive and supportive light, placing each one in a position for which they are most well suited. If you sit quietly and imagine that you can see a room with your coach, captain and team members all gathered together, you may be surprised at what you find.
Such a visualization opens the door for you to gain insight into your inner workings, and provides an opportunity for you to "update" your team to reflect your true beliefs and values.
Roberta Asagioli, the brilliant originator of the Psychosynthesis model of psychology, made great strides in elucidating the idea that we have many aspects inside of us, rather like an inner community, the members of which are often working against each other, rather than in concert, like a good team.
So what makes a good team? There are many elements of course, but having a strong, competent captain is very important. It is also important that each team member is placed in the position for which they are most well suited and competent. Having a good coach is very helpful, one who holds the vision of the desired outcome and is objective and skilled in the endeavour at hand.
So what does that model look like when applied to our inner landscape? In my experience, it begins with being clear about one’s belief system and then choosing to act on it and incorporate it into daily life. That then becomes like a tuning fork, the resonance of which spreads throughout the rest of the team.
It’s helpful to get clear about what you believe about life, because it will impact everything in your inner experience. A belief system which embraces joy as a foundation will resonate joy to the rest of the inner team. Albert Einstein said that the most important question any person could answer for themselves is “Is the Universe friendly?” The great psychic, Edgar Cayce, answered that question most affirmatively when he said “There is a spirit of helpfulness abroad in the universe.” If you, like Edgar Cayce, agree that the universe is basically friendly, is that belief reflected in your life?
So then the next question is, who is the captain of your team? Who is running your inner show? Many times, we discover that it is some old programming still in the captain's seat. Perhaps it is the critical voice of a mother who never thought you were good enough. Perhaps it is the voice of a teacher who did not understand your learning style. Such voices told us early on that we were not good enough.
Some people spend a whole lifetime trying to overcome a message that had no validity in the first place. So it is very important to get clear about who is the captain of your inner team. The ideal scenario would be that your captain is the part of you that knows you have a purpose in life, and are perfectly capable of supporting its unfoldment in a joyful manner.
Such a captain will then view the other members of the inner team in a positive and supportive light, placing each one in a position for which they are most well suited. If you sit quietly and imagine that you can see a room with your coach, captain and team members all gathered together, you may be surprised at what you find.
Such a visualization opens the door for you to gain insight into your inner workings, and provides an opportunity for you to "update" your team to reflect your true beliefs and values.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Why Climb the Mountain?
Often the journey to a more conscious life is begun through talking to people and reading books with intriguing concepts which draw one forward, wanting to know more. The path is reinforced by walking it with others where there is a sense of common ground and comradeship.
This sense of community is gratifying and important, and is a little bit like the setting up of a base camp at the bottom of the mountain one intends to climb. The planning is good, sharing maps is good, packing the backpack full of supplies is good, but the real journey begins when the first foot is actually planted on the mountain.
Climbing the mountain is the only way to find out what it is to apply those principles in your life. What does that look like? What does it feel like? What are the results? What do you do when you are alone on the side of mountain in the dark? What about wild animals? What about lightening? You may sit shivering for some time, afraid to go on, and desperately unsure. But sooner or later, you do go on. And each time you do, you get stronger and you learn something.
This journey feels frightening because it is, by definition, always unknown. It is much easier to stay in the base camp and keep reading the books. But nothing else has the deep sense of satisfaction that climbing the mountain has, and the learning is qualitatively different. There are many “aha moments” which happen when you are reading the books, but the true change only happens when you live what you are reading.
"You have to leave the city of your comfort, and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you will discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself."
~ Alan Alda
This sense of community is gratifying and important, and is a little bit like the setting up of a base camp at the bottom of the mountain one intends to climb. The planning is good, sharing maps is good, packing the backpack full of supplies is good, but the real journey begins when the first foot is actually planted on the mountain.
Climbing the mountain is the only way to find out what it is to apply those principles in your life. What does that look like? What does it feel like? What are the results? What do you do when you are alone on the side of mountain in the dark? What about wild animals? What about lightening? You may sit shivering for some time, afraid to go on, and desperately unsure. But sooner or later, you do go on. And each time you do, you get stronger and you learn something.
This journey feels frightening because it is, by definition, always unknown. It is much easier to stay in the base camp and keep reading the books. But nothing else has the deep sense of satisfaction that climbing the mountain has, and the learning is qualitatively different. There are many “aha moments” which happen when you are reading the books, but the true change only happens when you live what you are reading.
"You have to leave the city of your comfort, and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you will discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself."
~ Alan Alda
Friday, January 21, 2011
Peace in Wholeness
During a webinar in which I participated, the moderator clarified a very important concept, one which I implement all the time, but to which I had never actually put words. The idea is that any issue, challenge or problem we experience must be resolved with a “whole view”, or it will simply recur repeatedly. In coaching, this means that the presenting challenge needs to be understood and resolved within the context of the entire being of the person. It is helpful to ask the question: “How does this reflect a misunderstanding I am carrying about my particular life and life in general?”
This implies that any disruption in inner peace is a result of having only a partial view of what is going on. In other words, if I understood the complete picture, I would feel peaceful. Of course this can be a very tall order, and many times the best we can hope for is an understanding that is closer to the complete picture. The closer we get to a complete picture, the better we will feel about the issue.
One way to envision this is to imagine being lost in a jungle and not knowing which way to go to find safety. From your position on the ground, all you can see are the trees around you, and no matter how hard you look, there is no indication of the way out. But imagine now that you are magically picked up by a helicopter which whooshes you up above the area, so that now you are looking down at the whole jungle, and can see that there is a tea house just a stone’s throw from where you were standing.
Having that greater perspective is the only way to see the way out and is an example of getting closer to wholeness. Metaphorically, this is what happens when you bring a single challenging issue to a coaching session. If the session is successful, you will experience a broader view and leave the session with a good solution for that issue.
However, the best solution for your jungle journey would be to carry along a GPS unit which could keep you apprised of your position, and the positions of your various destinations within the jungle. Metaphorically, this is what getting in touch with your inner guidance provides for you: an internal GPS for your life. We could call it an "IGS" :-)
Getting in touch with that IGS is a tremendous help in life, but like a GPS, it must be used and the direction given must be trusted. Every day we are making decisions about what we will trust. Trusting your IGS involves believing that we have a higher power which is guiding us to a greater good, which the great psychic, Edgar Cayce, referred to as “a spirit of friendliness abroad in the universe.” If we, like Edgar Cayce, believe that the universe is friendly and that we are connected to that friendliness by our internal guidance system, then our experience of the jungle will be radically altered. Each time we feel lost, we can refer to our internal guidance system which will reassure us that there is a bigger picture in which lies safety. This reflects the wholeness into which our challenges can be resolved.
This implies that any disruption in inner peace is a result of having only a partial view of what is going on. In other words, if I understood the complete picture, I would feel peaceful. Of course this can be a very tall order, and many times the best we can hope for is an understanding that is closer to the complete picture. The closer we get to a complete picture, the better we will feel about the issue.
One way to envision this is to imagine being lost in a jungle and not knowing which way to go to find safety. From your position on the ground, all you can see are the trees around you, and no matter how hard you look, there is no indication of the way out. But imagine now that you are magically picked up by a helicopter which whooshes you up above the area, so that now you are looking down at the whole jungle, and can see that there is a tea house just a stone’s throw from where you were standing.
Having that greater perspective is the only way to see the way out and is an example of getting closer to wholeness. Metaphorically, this is what happens when you bring a single challenging issue to a coaching session. If the session is successful, you will experience a broader view and leave the session with a good solution for that issue.
However, the best solution for your jungle journey would be to carry along a GPS unit which could keep you apprised of your position, and the positions of your various destinations within the jungle. Metaphorically, this is what getting in touch with your inner guidance provides for you: an internal GPS for your life. We could call it an "IGS" :-)
Getting in touch with that IGS is a tremendous help in life, but like a GPS, it must be used and the direction given must be trusted. Every day we are making decisions about what we will trust. Trusting your IGS involves believing that we have a higher power which is guiding us to a greater good, which the great psychic, Edgar Cayce, referred to as “a spirit of friendliness abroad in the universe.” If we, like Edgar Cayce, believe that the universe is friendly and that we are connected to that friendliness by our internal guidance system, then our experience of the jungle will be radically altered. Each time we feel lost, we can refer to our internal guidance system which will reassure us that there is a bigger picture in which lies safety. This reflects the wholeness into which our challenges can be resolved.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Miracle Moments
If you have seen the movie “The Miracle Worker”, you will no doubt remember the pivotal scene where Helen Keller finally understands that Anne Sullivan is communicating with her. They are together at the water pump, and as the water runs over Helen’s hand, Anne is signing “water” into her other hand. The dawn of understanding is unmistakable, and in that miracle moment a whole new world opens up for Helen. Things begin to make sense. She now has a way of interacting with a world that previously was completely closed to her. Everything is the same, and nothing is the same.
Similar revelations are played out in the lives of those who embark on a journey to understand themselves and to find a way to feel better. We come to understand that Life has been trying to talk to us, but we didn’t understand the language. We did not know that there is a way to understand and to impact what happens to us. There is a way to engage with Life that feels like a dance, with Life in the lead, whereas previously, we may have felt our lives were haphazard and we were dancing alone in the dark.
As we engage this journey of understanding, each time we receive an insight that illuminates a whole section of our life, we are astonished. “You mean I have been doing this to myself all this time, and thinking someone else was doing it to me?”; “I can’t believe I didn’t see this before!”; “I didn’t realize how people were perceiving my actions.”; “I have never understood before why I continually behaved that way when it clearly wasn’t working.” These are common statements made by those who catch glimpses of the underpinnings of their habitual behaviours.
But the miracle moment comes when we actually feel that new understanding land in our physical body. There is a clear sense of it, like a key turning a lock. We can feel the key solidly locking into place. This is where true change takes place. And as each key drops into place, we build a new self and a new life, based on deep truths which change how we see the world, how we interact with it and, most importantly, how we feel.
There is a sense of joy in each discovery, an excitement, as though we have found a buried treasure, which indeed we have.
Similar revelations are played out in the lives of those who embark on a journey to understand themselves and to find a way to feel better. We come to understand that Life has been trying to talk to us, but we didn’t understand the language. We did not know that there is a way to understand and to impact what happens to us. There is a way to engage with Life that feels like a dance, with Life in the lead, whereas previously, we may have felt our lives were haphazard and we were dancing alone in the dark.
As we engage this journey of understanding, each time we receive an insight that illuminates a whole section of our life, we are astonished. “You mean I have been doing this to myself all this time, and thinking someone else was doing it to me?”; “I can’t believe I didn’t see this before!”; “I didn’t realize how people were perceiving my actions.”; “I have never understood before why I continually behaved that way when it clearly wasn’t working.” These are common statements made by those who catch glimpses of the underpinnings of their habitual behaviours.
But the miracle moment comes when we actually feel that new understanding land in our physical body. There is a clear sense of it, like a key turning a lock. We can feel the key solidly locking into place. This is where true change takes place. And as each key drops into place, we build a new self and a new life, based on deep truths which change how we see the world, how we interact with it and, most importantly, how we feel.
There is a sense of joy in each discovery, an excitement, as though we have found a buried treasure, which indeed we have.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Give Your Best Anyway
I have been listening to Eva Cassidy sing "Songbird", and so appreciating the beauty of the lyrics and her voice. Until today, I had no idea that Eva Cassidy was dead, and that, at the time of her death, she was virtually unknown outside of the state of Washington, where she was born. The gorgeous album, "Songbird", was released more than ten years after her death.
I got thinking about what it must have been like for her to have such talent and yet to be largely unrecognized. What if she had given up and quit singing? What if she let the lack of appreciation for her talent dim her light? The world would have been a poorer place without the loveliness that was Eva's voice.
It made me think of the statement by Mother Teresa, which tells us to do what is in our hearts to do, regardless of response or lack of response. In her words:
"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." ~ Mother Teresa
I think she is stating a great truth here: that we need to listen inside, act accordingly and let go of what the outcome around us might be.
Here is a link to listen to Eva Cassidy sing "Songbird":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFFo1pu4q7Q
May you too sing your song today, whatever it may be.
I got thinking about what it must have been like for her to have such talent and yet to be largely unrecognized. What if she had given up and quit singing? What if she let the lack of appreciation for her talent dim her light? The world would have been a poorer place without the loveliness that was Eva's voice.
It made me think of the statement by Mother Teresa, which tells us to do what is in our hearts to do, regardless of response or lack of response. In her words:
"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." ~ Mother Teresa
I think she is stating a great truth here: that we need to listen inside, act accordingly and let go of what the outcome around us might be.
Here is a link to listen to Eva Cassidy sing "Songbird":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFFo1pu4q7Q
May you too sing your song today, whatever it may be.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Make a Leap Sideways
On the nights when I have insomnia, I always watch "The Dog Whisperer" with Cesar Milan. I find it very interesting and often see parallels with how we are as humans. One parallel that always strikes me is the need for us to be our own "calm and assertive pack leader", which I think is another way of saying "be your own best friend".
In the last episode, I watched how Cesar dealt with a dog which was in attack mode. He didn't pull the dog back, but rather he pulled the dog sharply sideways. He said that if you pull a dog back, it just creates resistance and more determination in the dog to accomplish its current mission. On the other hand, pulling the dog to the side changes its state of mind altogether.
I thought about how similar it is for humans. How do you react when someone tries to pull you back from something you want to do? If you are like most of us, you react like the dog and become more determined to accomplish your existing goal.
Very often with my clients, I notice that they try to solve whatever their challenge of the moment is by doing a slightly different version of what they did the day before. A little tweak here and there, but rarely making a radical change. This is because they continue to look from the same point of view rather than changing their perspective.
Clients often tell me that the greatest gift they experience when working with me is that their point of view is radically altered, like seeing from a helicopter after being stuck in the forest forever. A different viewpoint automatically yields different solutions.
I recently watched a most enlightening video about the current state of the planet and where our present trajectory will take us. The speaker, Chris Turner, states the reasons he thinks humanity is at a turning point, and where we will be if we keep doing what we are doing. But then he describes the exciting future we can create if we are able to take off the blinders that we have worn since the industrial revolution, and make a radical leap sideways to a different plan altogether. His vision is hopeful and inspiring, and you can check it out at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prGdWKod7r4&feature=player_embedded
Change in the world and in our personal lives may be possible if we explore different points of view, and that exploration can be a great adventure. As Helen Keller said "Life is either a grand adventure, or nothing at all."
In the last episode, I watched how Cesar dealt with a dog which was in attack mode. He didn't pull the dog back, but rather he pulled the dog sharply sideways. He said that if you pull a dog back, it just creates resistance and more determination in the dog to accomplish its current mission. On the other hand, pulling the dog to the side changes its state of mind altogether.
I thought about how similar it is for humans. How do you react when someone tries to pull you back from something you want to do? If you are like most of us, you react like the dog and become more determined to accomplish your existing goal.
Very often with my clients, I notice that they try to solve whatever their challenge of the moment is by doing a slightly different version of what they did the day before. A little tweak here and there, but rarely making a radical change. This is because they continue to look from the same point of view rather than changing their perspective.
Clients often tell me that the greatest gift they experience when working with me is that their point of view is radically altered, like seeing from a helicopter after being stuck in the forest forever. A different viewpoint automatically yields different solutions.
I recently watched a most enlightening video about the current state of the planet and where our present trajectory will take us. The speaker, Chris Turner, states the reasons he thinks humanity is at a turning point, and where we will be if we keep doing what we are doing. But then he describes the exciting future we can create if we are able to take off the blinders that we have worn since the industrial revolution, and make a radical leap sideways to a different plan altogether. His vision is hopeful and inspiring, and you can check it out at this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prGdWKod7r4&feature=player_embedded
Change in the world and in our personal lives may be possible if we explore different points of view, and that exploration can be a great adventure. As Helen Keller said "Life is either a grand adventure, or nothing at all."
Monday, November 1, 2010
Are you laughing?
On my wall, I have a wonderful photo of two Tibetan monks, heads thrown back in paroxysms of laughter. The person who took the photo told me he had never met people with more simple joy bubbling up all the time. Yet these monks live with virtually no amenities, never mind luxuries. What they do have is a sense of connection with Life as they understand it, and the community in which they have chosen to live.
I think that in North America, it is important for us to ask ourselves some simple questions: "What really makes me happy? What causes me to throw back my head in helpless laughter? What gives me a sense of inner "glow"?"
If we aren't as happy as we would like to be, it is important to get a conscious understanding of why this is rather than to keep doing what we have always done. There is a great quote which says "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
For most people, answering the question of what really makes them happy involves examining what they truly value. A simple way to do this is to imagine your life without each of the elements which make it up. You may find, as many other people have, that the thing you take most for granted is the thing that takes your breath away when you think of losing it.
So what are you paying most attention to in your life? To what do you give most of your time? When we organize our lives so that we give a significant percentage of our time to those things we value the most, there is less liklihood of losing them, and less regret when we do.
I think that in North America, it is important for us to ask ourselves some simple questions: "What really makes me happy? What causes me to throw back my head in helpless laughter? What gives me a sense of inner "glow"?"
If we aren't as happy as we would like to be, it is important to get a conscious understanding of why this is rather than to keep doing what we have always done. There is a great quote which says "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
For most people, answering the question of what really makes them happy involves examining what they truly value. A simple way to do this is to imagine your life without each of the elements which make it up. You may find, as many other people have, that the thing you take most for granted is the thing that takes your breath away when you think of losing it.
So what are you paying most attention to in your life? To what do you give most of your time? When we organize our lives so that we give a significant percentage of our time to those things we value the most, there is less liklihood of losing them, and less regret when we do.
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